When you’re a new (or even seasoned) wedding officiant hoping for bookings, there’s a magical moment when you realize…
“Oh no. I can’t just sit here and wait for the phone to ring.”
You’ve got to get out there, network, and build relationships with fellow wedding vendors. And not just the ones you meet by chance at weddings — I’m talking about cold calling too. Yep. That slightly terrifying “reach out to people you’ve never met” kind of calling.
Before you start picturing yourself in a headset, reading a script, and being hung up on by 9 out of 10 wedding pros… relax. I’m going to show you how to do this the right way — in a way that actually builds trust, gets you remembered, and eventually lands you referrals.
This is exactly how I’ve done it in two completely different markets — first in Toronto, and then all over again when I moved to New Brunswick knowing nobody.
The secret comes down to three things:
- Posture of learning
- Referring them first
- Playing the long game
The Three Referral Streams
Before we dive in, let’s zoom out. A healthy wedding officiant business has three main streams of referrals:
1. Couples who’ve seen you in action – Your past couples and their friends/family who rave about you because you nailed their ceremony like no one’s ever seen.
2. Vendors you’ve worked with – The planners, photographers, DJs, and venues who’ve watched you run a ceremony like a pro and thought, “I want this person at all my weddings.”
3. Vendors you haven’t worked with yet – These are the “cold calls.” You don’t know them. They don’t know you. But they could become your biggest referral source in the long run.
That third stream? That’s what we’re tackling here. That’s how you’ll expand your reach. Then as you officiate more weddings, streams number one and two will pick up steam.
Step One: Find Them
Your first task is simple: open Google.
Type in “wedding” plus your area. Not “wedding planner” — that’s too narrow. Just “wedding” will pull up a mix of venues, planners, photographers, florists, and other key players in your local market.
Make yourself a list. These are your targets (in the friendliest, most non-creepy way possible).
Step Two: Shift Your Mindset
Here’s where most officiants blow it: they come in hot, asking for referrals right out of the gate.
“Hi, this is my name and I’m amazing. Please put me on your preferred vendor list.”
Nope. Delete that approach from your brain.
Instead, your mindset should be:
“I want to learn from and about you.”
When you approach someone with curiosity instead of desperation, they feel it. And it makes all the difference.
Your fellow wedding vendors have so much to teach you:
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Who’s booking weddings right now
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Which demographics are spending money
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What couples are asking for
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Which trends are dying off
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What’s working for them and what’s not
Go in like a student, not a salesperson.
Step Three: Bring the Right Tools
You need two things:
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Business cards – For when you meet someone in person and want them to have a way to follow up.
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Rack card or postcard – Something with your services, a QR code, and your contact info. This is for when you’re not there and they need a “leave-behind” that explains who you are.
When you show up at a venue or meet a planner for coffee, you’ll have these on hand. But you’re not handing them a stack saying, “Please give these to all your couples.” (That’ll come later.) The business card comes out at the end of your conversation, and the rack cards come out if they happen to ask how they can refer you to their own clients.
In my Pro course, I teach you exactly how to design these for maximum effect.
Step Four: Make Contact
You’ve got a few options here:
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Call them – Yes, with your actual phone. If they don’t answer, leave a short, friendly voicemail. Example:
“Hi, my name’s [Your Name], I’m a wedding officiant here in [area]. I’d love to meet you and hear about your work. If you have a few minutes, maybe I could buy you a coffee or, if you’re a venue, get a quick tour.”
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Mail something first – Send your rack card with a handwritten note introducing yourself. It’s old school and will get their attention. Then follow up with a call: “Hey, I sent you something in the mail last week — would love to connect.”
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Pop in (selectively) – Works best for venues or businesses with a public space. Don’t ambush them with a 45-minute chat. Just say hello, leave your card, and set up a future time to talk.
Step Five: The Conversation
When you get them on the phone or in person, here’s your secret weapon:
Ask them about their business.
Questions like:
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How did you get started in the wedding industry?
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What kind of couples do you serve?
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What’s most popular right now?
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What’s been challenging this season?
And here’s the twist that makes you unforgettable:
Tell them you want to refer them.
Even if you’re just starting out and don’t have couples yet, say something like:
“I’m building a list of great vendors so when couples ask me for recommendations, I know exactly who to send them to.”
This flips the script. You’re not there to take — you’re there to give. And guess what happens when you start genuinely talking up vendors you’ve built a relationship with? Yep — they refer you back. So either refer them in person on get on social media and talk up how you met one of the greatest photographers ever this afternoon. Spread the love and nothing but good will come back in return.
Stage Six of my Pro course teaches exactly how you need to conduct this conversation, step by step. It’s not a “first date let’s see how it goes” kind of thing. You go in with a plan to make them feel valued and heard.
Step Six: Play the Long Game
Patience is hard. But I gotta be honest: this isn’t a “call them on Monday, get a wedding on Friday” kind of thing.
Relationships take time. Vendors want to see you stick around. They want to know you’re not a one-season wonder who’ll disappear by next summer.
Stay in touch. Keep showing up. Follow them and engage with their posts on social media. Drop them a quick note now and then. And when you finally do work with them at a wedding and you nail it, you’ll be on their radar forever.
Bonus Tip: Include Other Officiants
Don’t just network with planners, venues, and photographers. Connect with other officiants in your area.
Why? Because you can:
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Swap referrals when you’re booked
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Cover for each other if you get sick
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Pass along couples who want a style or ceremony type you don’t offer
Some of my best referral partners have been officiants who don’t like doing the big, 150-guest productions I love — and they’ve sent me all of them. In return, I’ve sent them all the elopements I don’t do. Win-win.
The Three Rules to Remember
If you remember nothing else from this blog, take these three rules with you:
- Posture of learning – Go in curious, not salesy.
- Refer them first – Make it about helping them, not just you.
- Play the long game – Relationships take time to grow.
Cold calling doesn’t have to be awkward. Done right, it’s just the first step in building your own local “wedding family” — the people who make weddings better together and help your business thrive.
So make your list, pick up the phone, and start meeting your future referral partners. You’ll be glad you did.
