Let’s just say it: kids at weddings will be adorable—but they can also cause a bit of chaos. And when you’re the one up front, mic’d up, trying to land every line of the couple’s story and facilitate a magical moment, a rogue toddler yelling “BANANA!” at full volume can throw you right off your game.

So what do you do? How do you keep things calm, cool, and collected when the littlest guests decide to make the ceremony momentarily about them?

Here’s my best advice—straight from experience and (yep) plenty of trial and error.

1. First, know this: Kids are a gift, not a glitch.

Before we get into “what to do,” let’s get clear on how to think about kids in ceremonies.

They’re not a problem. They’re not an inconvenience. They’re part of the beautiful chaos of life, and if the couple has invited them, then they belong.

I always say: expectation is the enemy of having a good time. (Put that on a bumper sticker.) If you go in expecting total silence and a room full of rapt attention, you’re going to be flustered. But if you go in ready for a little unpredictability? You’ll roll with it like a pro.

2. Ask the couple early: What’s the kid situation?

In my process, I meet with couples 4–6 weeks before the wedding for what I call the “Wedding Workshop.” I ask 70+ questions to build the perfect ceremony—and yes, one of them is about kids.

Ask:

• Are there kids in the wedding party (ring bearers, flower girls)?

• Will there be kids in the seats?

• Is this a kid-friendly vibe, or a no-kids-please kind of day?

Their answers tell you a lot. A single flower girl coming down the aisle? Probably no biggie. But if the guest list includes 20 cousins under the age of six? You might want to prepare.

3. Consider saying something in your pre-ceremony welcome.

If it seems like a kid-heavy crowd, you can work a gentle note into your pre-ceremony opening remarks. Something like:

“If you’ve got a little one who needs a quick break to stretch or wiggle, feel free to step out and come back when they’re settled.”

But here’s the nuance: don’t do this unless you’ve cleared it with the couple.

Some couples don’t want you to say anything about kids. And that’s their call. So bring it up in the workshop. If they say, “Please don’t mention anything about kids,” then don’t.

(But if it were me? I’d probably lean on the side of asking forgiveness, not permission.)

4. When you arrive on site, scan the room.

You should already be arriving 45 minutes early. You’re checking the sound, confirming cues, meeting the planner, all that good stuff.

Also take a moment to look around.

If it’s all sleepy newborns and nursing babies? No problem.

If it’s starting to feel like a preschool field trip? File that away. You might need to pivot.

This helps you make a judgment call about whether you’re going to say something in the welcome—or if you might need to be ready to improvise mid-ceremony.

5. Don’t let other people’s expectations throw you.

Here’s something that happened recently: an officiant member of Unboring!Wedding Academy told me during our live monthly office hours that they were flustered because during a small ceremony, the kids just… ignored the whole thing. They were playing, chatting, wandering. And it distracted the grownups, too. It just felt like no one was listening.

So I asked the officiaint: did anyone else seem bothered? She said, “Well that’s what was so bizarre. No one else was bothered. The couple was happy! The guests were relaxed!” It was just the officiant who was rattled.

So I told her she did the right thing by just carrying on. She read the room and served her couple.

The key is to recognize that if you’re the only one upset, you might not need to do anything at all. Take a breath. Let it go. And keep going.

6. If disruption happens mid-ceremony, don’t ignore it—acknowledge it.

Let’s say the noise level rises. A toddler starts screaming. Your couple’s daughter wraps herself around the bride’s ankles and won’t let go. You’re up front, mic in hand.

Here’s the move. You stop and gently ask you couple:

“How are we doing? Would you like to pause for a moment, or shall we carry on?”

That question does three important things:

1. It puts the couple in the driver’s seat.
2. It diffuses tension without shaming anyone.
3. It makes you look calm, confident, and in control.

You can even add a little humour if the moment allows:

“It’s beautiful when people cry at weddings—but let’s try to keep it within reason if we can.”

Or:

“Evidently this ceremony is really pulling someone’s heartstrings. Or maybe that someone is just teething.”

But always be kind. Never shame the parents. Never call out the child directly. This is all about reading the room and responding with grace.

7. Let go of the idea of “how it’s supposed to go.”

Your job as the officiant is not to keep things perfect. It’s to keep things moving.

If a kid cries? If a phone rings? If a lawnmower starts up next door?

Acknowledge it. Laugh about it. Pivot. You’re not the star of the show—the couple is. You’re just the guide.

And if the couple’s fine with whatever’s happening? Then you should be, too.

8. You’re not failing. You’re flexing.

Look—weddings are full of unexpected moments. You will have a ceremony someday where the rings are missing. Or the mic cuts out. Or the wind knocks over a vase.

And yes, kids will cry. Or shout. Or walk right up to you and ask if this is over yet.

You’re not failing when that happens. You’re flexing. You’re adapting in real-time. And honestly, that’s what makes a great officiant.

9. Keep your post-ceremony mindset healthy.

Driving home after a tough ceremony, you might be tempted to grip the steering wheel and ask yourself, “Should I have done something different?”

But if you handled it with care, read the room, and followed the couple’s lead?

You did the right thing.

So be kind to yourself. Save the overthinking for your next fantasy football draft—or your next round of “what-if” wedding scenarios.

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Final Thought:

Disruptive kids aren’t ruining the moment. They are the moment. And with a little humour, grace, and calm leadership, you can make sure everyone feels included, respected, and comfortable—including yourself.

Because let’s face it: the wedding guests won’t remember that a kid cried during the vows. But they will remember the officiant who rolled with it like a pro.