Should couples do shots during their wedding ceremony?
It’s a question that came up recently one one of my weekly YouTube livestreams; it made me laugh a little.
Because like a lot of wedding questions, the answer is not really yes or no.
After officiating hundreds of weddings, I’ve learned that almost anything can work in a ceremony if it fits the couple, fits the energy of the room, and fits the emotional flow of what’s happening.
And almost anything can feel awkward if it doesn’t.
I’ve seen shots work beautifully in a ceremony. I’ve also seen unity-ritual moments like that completely flatten the emotional momentum of a wedding that had been building perfectly up until then.
So I don’t really think the question is whether couples should do shots during the ceremony.
The better question is: where and how does something like that fit into the overall experience the couple is trying to create. And whether it suits them.
That’s something newer officiants sometimes miss. A wedding ceremony is not just a collection of traditions or rituals stacked one after another. It has movement to it. Rhythm. Emotional pacing. Even a really fun and relaxed ceremony still has structure underneath it. There are moments where people settle in, moments where they laugh, moments where they reflect, and moments where the energy releases again.
A great officiant is constantly paying attention to that rhythm.
So when a couple asks whether they should incorporate shots into the ceremony, my answer is rarely an automatic yes or no. Instead, I start asking different questions.
Why do they want to do it?
What role does it play in their ceremony?
Does it actually feel personal to them, or does it feel like something they saw online three weeks ago and thought would be funny?
Because there’s a difference between a ritual that reflects the couple and a moment that interrupts the ceremony simply for the sake of novelty.
The Ceremony Does Not Need More Stuff
One of the things I say fairly often to couples is that a great ceremony doesn’t require a pile of rituals to become meaningful.
A lot of ceremonies only really need a few things: a strong opening, a compelling love story, vows, rings, pronouncement, and a meaningful closing.
That alone can create an incredible experience.
So when couples ask me, “What rituals should we add?” my answer is usually, “None–automatically.”
Not because rituals are bad. I actually love meaningful rituals.
But just like with ceremony readings, rituals should come from the couple. They should feel connected to who they are and how they actually live. Otherwise, they can start to feel performative pretty quickly.
That’s true whether we’re talking about handfasting, sand mixing, unity candles, cocktail pours, tequila shots, or anything else.
I’ve seen couples incorporate shots into ceremonies in ways that felt completely natural because everyone present immediately understood: “Oh, this is so them.”
Maybe the couple met bartending together. Maybe they own a brewery. Maybe they host all their friends every Friday night around their kitchen island making cocktails for everybody. Maybe sharing a whiskey together has genuinely become part of their relationship story.
When something reflects the actual life and personality of the couple, guests can feel that immediately.
That’s the difference between a ritual feeling meaningful and a ritual feeling random.
Ceremony Flow Matters More Than the Ritual Itself
This is where I think a lot of officiants get tripped up.
They focus so much on whether a ritual is allowed or appropriate that they stop thinking about where it belongs emotionally inside the ceremony.
But placement matters.
A lot.
Ceremonies have emotional progression. You are building energy and releasing energy the entire time. Sometimes you’re bringing the room inward into a reflective moment. Sometimes you’re opening it back up into laughter and celebration.
And every addition changes that flow.
That means a shot ritual that works perfectly in one ceremony might feel awkward in another.
I’ve seen ceremonies where the couple suddenly stops halfway through the vows to pour tequila shots into glasses, and the entire room visibly loses the emotional thread of what had been happening.
The moment disrupted the pacing of the ceremony and a better placement choice could have been made.
On the other hand, I’ve also seen couples do something similar after the pronouncement, when the emotional arc of the ceremony had already reached its peak and everybody was naturally ready to celebrate. In that context, it worked beautifully because it felt like an extension of the joy that was already in the room.
That’s why I think officiants need to think less like script readers and more like guides. You are helping shape an emotional experience in real time.
The question is not just: “Will this be funny?”
The question is: “Will this fit?”
The Three Types of Wedding Ceremony Shots
Over the years, I’ve noticed there are basically three versions of this that show up in weddings.
The first technically is not part of the ceremony itself, but it’s extremely common.
1. The Pre-Ceremony Shot
This happens all the time.
The wedding party is together beforehand. Nerves are high. Everybody’s buzzing with anticipation. Somebody pulls out tequila.
I’ve walked into bridal suites where the wedding party was already halfway into celebration mode before guests had even arrived.
One time I performed a wedding at a brewery in Toronto and went upstairs before the ceremony to check on the couple. There were beer bottles everywhere already. Everybody was having a fantastic time.
Now, to be clear, I am not recommending that couples get hammered before the ceremony.
Legally, people should actually understand what they are doing when they are getting married.
But a celebratory shot beforehand? A toast with the wedding party before things begin? That’s pretty normal.
Personally, I never do one myself before officiating. One shot and I’d be slurring my opening remarks halfway through the processional. Shots are not a performance enhancer–for me.
But for couples and wedding parties, sometimes it helps release a little nervous energy.
Now, nerves are not necessarily a bad thing.
I tell officiants this all the time: if you feel nervous before a ceremony, it usually means you care.
That nervousness sharpens your attention. It keeps you present. It reminds you that something important is happening.
But for the couple or their party? Sometimes it’s a fun way for them to slightly loosen up either in the bridal suite, at the venue bar, or when everyone is lined up and ready for the processional.
2. The Mid-Ceremony Shot
This is the version that requires the most thought.
Sometimes couples want to pause during the ceremony itself and take a shot together. Sometimes it’s cultural. Sometimes it’s symbolic. Sometimes they simply think it will be fun.
And it absolutely can work.
But this is where the officiant really needs to understand pacing and tone.
If the ceremony has been building emotionally and suddenly everything stops for what feels like a party gag, it can accidentally puncture the atmosphere you’ve spent the last fifteen minutes creating.
That doesn’t mean couples should never do it.
It just means it needs to fit the emotional world of the ceremony.
A relaxed brewery wedding with a highly energetic crowd is different from a deeply emotional backyard ceremony where grandparents are crying in the front row.
The same ritual lands differently depending on the environment.
That’s why I always encourage officiants to think carefully about what the ceremony is trying to feel like overall and when specific emotions will ebb and flow.
I find that a shot like this goes best right after the vows and before the ring exchange.
Here’s a script I often use for a mid-ceremony unity shot. You’ll want to adjust as appropriate for the drink they’ve chosen. And sometimes, they opt to blend two drinks into one so you’ll want to emphasize the two-into-one in an instance like that.
In this case, Krystel and Peter wanted to share a shot of their favourite drink: tequila.
Now some couples symbolize their union by mixing sand. Others signify it with a handfasting. But Krystel and Peter thought long and hard about it. And they decided to symbolize it with something more true to them: Tequila!
And so, Krystel and Peter, please move to the table and pour yourselves a drink. And we will count you down to your first act as a nearly-married couple.
- Krystel and Peter go to table, pour drinks as Mark speaks, and wait for countdown
Tequila is much like a marriage itself—a beautiful mix of sweet, tangy, and a little bit of spice. Just like a marriage, tequila can bring you moments of pure bliss and exhilaration… or make you say, “What the heck did we just do?” But through it all, it’s the adventure and the journey that make it truly special. Tequila and marriage both require courage, commitment, and a strong stomach to handle whatever comes your way. Embrace it all together: with open arms and a resilient spirit. Just like you would a shot of tequila.
Krystel and Peter, I invite you now to hold hands and take this shot together—a shot that symbolizes the beginning of your marital adventure, a shot that embodies the spirit of unity and your promise to face life’s twists and turns hand in hand, with laughter, love, and courage together.
And so… on the count of three, take this shot together. We will count you in, and when I get to three, Let’s say “to the bride and groom” as loud as you can, everyone!
One: to life; two: to love, three: to your happily ever after; say it with me now “to the bride and groom!
- Krystel and Peter take their shots
3. The Post-Pronouncement Celebration Shot
This is probably the cleanest version of a shot you’ll see.
The couple gets pronounced married. Everybody cheers. The emotional tension releases. And then the couple grabs a shot ski or does a quick celebratory toast before walking back up the aisle together.
The key difference is that the emotional arc of the ceremony is already complete.
The vows happened. The rings happened. The pronouncement happened.
Now everybody is celebrating.
That’s why this version tends to work much more naturally than interrupting the ceremony halfway through.
Here’s a sample script. In this version, I’ve pronounced Caitlin and Kyle married and they kissed, we signed the papers and came back to centre, and now they’re centre-stage holding their shot ski. I give some quick closing remarks about what’s happening after the ceremony, and then I say,
And to get the rest of the day – and their marriage – started off right, Caitlin and Kyle will perform the time-honoured wedding tradition called “the shooting of the tequila shot ski.” So without further ado, let’s count them down and wish them a happy cheer of “to the bride and groom!” Are you ready? Say it with me now! 3… 2… 1… to the bride and groom!”
- Caitlin and Kyle take their shots
Reading the Room Matters
One of the most important skills an officiant develops over time is the ability to read a room.
Not every crowd responds the same way.
Not every couple wants the same atmosphere.
Some ceremonies thrive on playfulness and crowd energy. Others are quieter and more reflective. Some couples want everybody laughing constantly. Others want something more intimate and restrained.
The officiant’s job is not to force every wedding into the same mold.
The officiant’s job is to understand what kind of experience the couple actually wants to create.
That’s why I think blanket rules around rituals are usually unhelpful.
The better question is always: does this serve the couple and the ceremony they are trying to create?
If the answer is yes, great.
If the answer is, “Honestly, we just saw it online and thought we probably should,” then maybe it’s worth slowing down and reconsidering.
The Real Goal Is Connection
Ultimately, this is what I think couples and officiants should keep coming back to.
The goal is not to be quirky or to stack trendy moments into the ceremony.
The goal is not to make guests think, “Wow, that was different.”
The goal is connection.
When couples incorporate something genuinely personal into the ceremony, guests feel it immediately. They understand it emotionally, even if they’ve never seen that ritual before.
That’s why some shot rituals feel warm and memorable while others feel out of place.
It has very little to do with the alcohol itself.
It has everything to do with authenticity.
If a ceremony is emotionally grounded, engaging, personal, and thoughtfully paced, you don’t need very many extras at all.
If you want help creating ceremonies that actually feel personal, engaging, and unforgettable, check out the Unboring!Wedding Academy Ceremony Course and Officiantly Unlimited.
And if this article helped you think through ceremony flow a little differently, share it with another officiant who’s trying to figure out where exactly a shot ski belongs in a wedding ceremony.
